115 - Respectability


You’ve been stealing cable from your neighbor for only a couple days, and it’s only taken that long to lose all respect for him. What kind of a cheapskate only springs for basic cable in this day and age? Basic. Fucking. Cable. Let’s count all the good shows you can watch on basic cable. Uh…none of them?

You told your wife you shouldn’t have moved in to the this neighborhood. No one decent around to steal cable from. That’s not even all! “The grass doesn’t grow thick enough so that you can conceal a power cord to steal electricity, Steph,” you told her, but did she listen? No.

No you’re stuck with this trashy-ass neighbor. He didn’t even have a cable splitter in his shed when you broke in on Tuesday, so you had to go buy your own. Frankly, you’re a little embarrassed to be living in this shithole.

Then he lets his kids run around naked in their backyard? I mean, where the fuck does he think he is? This isn't a trailer park, you animal. You don’t care if he has an eight-foot privacy fence, he should know that the surveillance cameras you’ve set up to live stream his kids onto your private streaming service are angled down from your roof.

I mean, raise your kids right, dude. There are dangerous people in the world. But I guess that sort of forethought can’t be expected from such degenerates.