A small yet highly impactful decision several years ago led you to the mindset that you should always be on the lookout for new things to try, and should those things not be harmful or unreasonably risky, you should try them then and there. “No excuse not to have a new experience,” you’ve said to yourself over and over, and it has not failed you so far.
Sushi, which you once thought of as “that gross raw fish stuff” is now one of your favorite meals. You seriously cannot believe you’ve denied yourself the relaxing and productive hobby of knitting all these years. Kesha, well, you gave her a chance, but you’re not ready to let Kesha into your life right now.
Now, however, you have come to an impasse.
You stare at the can your friend handed to you with a smile. “I know you like to try new stuff,” she said.
“Grass Jelly Drink” is printed in a delicate font on the can. What is it? Is it a drink made from a food known as “grass jelly” or are there a subset of drinks called “jelly drinks” and this is the grass flavor? How does one go about making jelly from grass, it’s not fruit. Oh my god that stuff looks like the protein blocks from Snowpiercer. That stuff was made from roaches. Oh god no. No no no no.
You throw the can at your friend’s head and run to your car. You drive all the way home, run inside and lock the door. You turn off all the lights and shut yourself in your closet. You can live here now. Nothing can hurt you here. Grass Jelly Drink will never find you.
You’re safe. Safe forever.