164 - Duel


You enter the bank, relieved at your temporary shelter from the torrential downpour of rain outside. Closing your umbrella, you observe a set of clearly-labeled plastic umbrella bags hung on a hook in the portal. You retrieve one and cover your wet parasol.

Stepping into the bank proper, you instantly lay eyes upon Norman, your arch-nemesis, a man bereft of honor who stole your first love. The code demandsNorman’s blood, but you find yourself unarmed, and can only assume Norman is in an equally defenseless state. One can hardly invoke the write of combat without a weapon.

You scan Norman up and down and notice his right hand holds the same thing gripped by your left – a bagged umbrella. It’ll do.

Norman!” you cry. Norman turns to you, noticeably shaken. “I call you out!” you finish, and unsheathe your umbrella from its clear plastic scabbard.

Norman, coward that he is, does not answer your call honorably and draw his weapon as you have. He tries to talk his way out of it.

“Paul, what the hell are you doing?” he asked, feigning bewilderment. He knows the code as well as you do.

“You have been challengedNorman!” you explain sternly.  “You stole Tasha from me and I will have satisfaction! Now draw your umbrella or be struck down!”

Tasha?” Norman recoils. “Th-that was high school, Paul! That was fifteen years ago!”

If Norman refuses to fight, he will fall! You smack him a good one on the side of his arm.

Ow!” Norman cries out. “That kind of hurt, Paul! Stop it!”

You whack him another one.

“Paul, this is ridiculous! Stop!”

You pull back your arm to wind up for another swing when the off-duty cop working security for the bank tackles you. You hit your head on the hard floor as the two of you fall and lose consciousness.

When you awake in the hospital, you recount the events to the doctor, who agrees with you fully that Norman is a big baby.