Your brother really half-assed this one. A dead rat in the back seat? you think, you’re getting lazy, Jim. You used to pull pranks that were at least half-decent.
Returning from the dollar store where you purchased a couple of extra strength vent-mount air fresheners, you see Jim sitting on the porch drinking a large bottle of Old English 800. Jim holds his bottle up towards you in salutation and shoots you a wry grin. Classy.
You remove the air fresheners from the plastic shopping bag and use them to return Jim’s salute. You do not forget to send his shit-eating grin right back at him.
Jim uses his beer to stifle a snicker. Beer foams out of his nose and he begins to cough violently. Serves the fucker right.
You open the door and take a seat in your car. The stench of dead vermin still fills the passenger compartment. You waste little time installing the air fresheners.
Well before the odious odor of the expired muroid overwhelms you, you activate the air conditioning to feel the sweet breeze of new car. What hits you well before the perfumed scent is a blinding cloud of white flour that sprays out of the A/C vents.
After a moment of shock, you turn in the seat, still blinded, towards your brother.
“What the fu-“
Before you can finish your curse, what feels like a water balloon bursts on your face, release what tastes like shaving cream into your mouth.
Frenzied, you wipe at your face and spit up shaving cream all over your face, lap, and dashboard.
“Still got it,” you hear Jim say. You have to admit he’s right.