175 - I Want It


You are being pushed along the grocery store aisle in a cart piloted by your mother. You pass a corner display of toy cars and begin to scream wildly, extending your arms toward the miniature automobiles.

Your mother immediately displays her exasperation with an eye roll and a jaw-jutting growl.

“What? What do you want now?” she grumbles.

You continue to reach for the cars, your fingers waving wildly as if you believe you can make them grow. “Ah!”  you scream, “Ahhhhhhhh!”

“Fine, fine,” your mother concedes. She quickly grabs a toy Batmobile from the display and hands it to you. “There, now hush.”

You gleefully take the Batmobile from your mother and start to rip open the packaging.

Realizing what you’re doing, your mother tells you to stop. “Wait until we get home, please,” she pleads.

You pause your unboxing long enough to look your mother in the eye and stick your tongue out at her. She attempts to wrestle the box away from you, but you pull back and threaten a tantrum. “Mmmmmm!” you exclaim.

With only a few items left on the grocery list, your mother thinks she might be able to make it out of the grocery store without strangling you if she makes a deal. “Okay, just don’t make a mess.”

You promptly make a mess, throwing each piece of packaging onto the floor next to the shopping cart. You mother stops each time to pick up the trash; she doesn’t even bother scolding you.

You finally free the Batmobile from its plastic and cardboard prison. What do you do now? Why, shove it in your mouth, of course! The flavor leaves much to be desired, but the texture is exquisite. You enthusiastically chew on the Batmobile for the rest of your ride through the grocery store.

On the ride out to the car, you grow bored of your chew toy and throw it into the parking lot. Your mother does not notice and leaves it there.

Later on, you will realize what you’ve done and cry for no apparent reason.