182 - Weekend Wars


“For years the Weed Resistance has stood defiantly against the storied might of the Dominic Dominion.” you declare to the empty streets of your suburban neighborhood at seven in the morning on a Saturday. “The war has been long and brutal. Deep in the bowels of the Dominion’s research planet Home Depotia, however, the emperor’s evil scientists have perfected a weapon sure to quash the Weed Resistance and bring a terrible peace to the galaxy!”

You laugh manically while you spray the weeds growing between the cracks of your driveway with Round-up. They die.

“The Dominion’s victory is complete! Let all who would challenge my rule remember this day!” you shout.

You turn your attention the fire ant colony that has formed in your front lawn. “Already a new threat looms on the horizon for the Dominion. The hive-minded swarms of the Insectoid Colonial Alliance send scouting parties to test my might, to test my resolve.

“Dom, honey! Breakfast!” your wife calls from the open kitchen window.

“Okay, honey!” you reply.

You shoot a deadly stare at the ant colony on your way in.

“The strength of the Dominion will not be found wanting.”