You push the off-brand cotton swab as hard as you can and, while the pain is considerable, you don’t experience the satisfactory click and sudden blackness the internet told you that your body eventually feel.
She’s been gone over a month now and three unsatisfactory phone calls and two tense days of moving later, you feel better. Better enough that you have the motivation to make sure you never think about her again.
Is this it? You wait for the soft embrace of cold darkness to envelop you, but only until the excruciating new wave of agony shoots from your ear canal.
When you pull out the swab and observe its newly-acquired crimson hue, you hear a loud ringing in your ear. The doctors will later call it tinnitus induced by trauma to the eardrum, but you find that strange because you heard the same sound the moment she told you she didn’t want you anymore.
You regret buying the cheap q-tips.