202 - Try Everything Once


With all your car tires inflated to recommended pressure and only a minute left until your dollar runs out and the air machine shuts down, you have an important decision to make and not much time in which to make it.

You flip a mental coin and decide that your butt is the best orifice to stick the pump into. Sorry, nose, you’ll have to wait ‘til next time. You drop trou and ease the tube on in there. Luckily it’s three in the afternoon and you live in the American South so lubrication really isn’t an issue.

You depress the lever handle, opening the valve and releasing a cool stream of compressed air into your rectum. It feels as if a large balloon is inflating inside your pelvis. The sensation is strange but not altogether unpleasant. You release the lever before the balloon pops.

“Hmm…” you remark, “…so that’s what that feels like.” You clean the valve with hand sanitizer from a bottle you keep in your car and replace it on the hook.

You sit in your car but you can’t really get comfortable. Well, the wages of new experience is the sting of discomfort.