206 - Elbow Pads


It is 1999 and you are the first kid on your block to own a Lazor™ scooter. You’ve been practicing in your driveway for almost the entire three days since you got it and you’re pretty sure you’re the best rider ever. It is beyond sweet, and now it’s time to take sweet to the street.

You tear down the slight incline of the driveway. While crossing the threshold onto the black asphalt of the quiet residential street your home sits on, you push off with your foot as hard as you can, shifting the Lazor™’s patented MicroWheel® technology into maximum overdrive.

The proprietary Flexboard® foot base lets you take the raw curves of the cul-de-sac like they were nothing. You lean into the curve over and over: left, left, left….left. You effortlessly execute the circle. You’d go right, but mom won’t let you leave the cul-de-sac, even though no danger could catch you at the break-neck speeds the Lazor™’s high-speed, low-drag, rugged, lightweight construction of revolutionary Aluminastic© alloy makes possible.

You come around to the speed bump. With the tough Spring-Steel<@:) suspension, you barely feel the bump at all. You pull up on the MaxiGrip(£) handlebars that wick away sweat for uncompromising hold, and the re-purposed crashed alien ship technology of the Lazor™’s Reflex Gravitard Juicemaster(BBQ) nets you nearly three inches of Xtreme Air.

You land, and through what must be some type of user error (per the EULA), the mounting screws come loose from the wheels and you crash hard onto the pavement, skinning your knee up something fierce.