The half-dull pocket knife makes a ragged cut as you force it down the long side of he cigarillo. The wrapping does not yield willingly, but there is an undeniable satisfaction in the shredding sound you hear and rough feedback you receive as you pull the knife along the tobacco skin.
You pour the tobacco shaving innards of the cigarillo into your lap, eager to replace them with the high-grade marijuana you purchased just minutes ago.
As you reach for the jacket pocket that holds he dime bag you recently acquired, a soft knock on your car window snaps you out of your pre-smoke trance and back into the reality that you are sitting in the Krispy Kreme parking lot at 3am trying to smoke a blunt.
You turn to scorn your startler and your heart falls into your stomach with a *plop* as you stare into the face of a uniformed police officer. The cop points his finger at the ground and bounces his hand up and down I the universal cop lingo for 'roll down your fucking window, idiot.'
You know oblige his subtle command, and he wastes no time. "Where's the weed?" He asks, sounding impatient and exhausted.
In the wake of such a blatantly incriminating question, a strange switch inside you flips and an uncharacteristic coolness pulses through you. All at once, you know you've got this.
"Why officer, whatever do you mean?" you ask through a toothy, sarcastic smile.
"Look asshole, I see the tobacco; the empty blunt is in your hand. What possible reason could you have for dumping those shavings if not to fill that thing with weed?"
Your eyes widen into a blank yet piercing stare. and your grin settles into a straight line of hyperbolically seriousness. "The shavings don't agree with my stomach," you declare tonelessly before shoving the entire empty cigarillo husk into your mouth. After nearly a minute of chewing, you manage to swallow the mangled wad of tobacco wrapping without choking.
The cop stares in utter disbelief the whole time. He watches your Adam's apple rise and fall as you swallow, shakes his head, and walks away.
Not bad , you think. Needs a little garlic.