226 - Horticulture


The city seems to have little to no respect for your community garden project. Careless words are being thrown around, and while you’ve done your best to live a life undefined by the labels of others, it’s getting somewhat difficult.

The reclaimed metal planters you’ve distributed across the garden have been callously labeled as “old junky car doors,” which is factually accurate but incomplete. Also, the inconsiderate, slanderous characterization of your base-layer vegetation as “a bunch of nasty weeds” may be literally correct but shows a sophomoric understanding of front-yard gardening techniques.

The cancerous libel the city inspector perpetrated in his report on your property stated that your lawn was a “veritable breeding ground for rats, snakes, and other pests that nest in poorly kept, heavily overgrown areas” may be the truth down to the letter, but doesn’t he understand that the ecosystem is a delicate chain, and that upsetting one link, even if it’s an adorable plague-ridden field rat or a cute little venomous snake.

These city planners really ought to learn something about nature.