292 - Trivial


Bar trivia hasn't gone so well tonight, but the great equalizer handout has come around, and it seems tailor-made for you. After all, you'll be god damned if you don't fancy yourself a F.R.I.E.N.D.S. aficionado.

With the conviction of a man of exhaustive knowledge of at least one 90s sitcom, you lane answer after answer. The idea that you could ever not know the middle name of any of the six main character of the second most popular situation comedy of your formative years is so distant in your mind it might as well be a grain of sand on the desert planet Arrakis.

You are wrong. You know this cannot be. You  share an insistent argument with the host, but he doesn't care for the part of your impassioned dissent where you punch him in the face. He docks you 8 points because if he lets one person get away with violence without consequence it will only encourage future physical assaults on him. "Firm but Fair," that's old Gus's trivia motto.

The punitive point retraction pushes you into 5th place, and you miss out on the five dollar bar tab consolation prize. You pay for your two Miller High Lifes (Lives? That should be a trivia question) and leave. You don't expect you'll be coming back.