You press green flashing button that says “PRESS TO RECEIVE TICKET” to receive your ticket. You assure yourself you’re doing this only because you’re going to be late for your court date if you don’t and not because some asshole robot with a yellow and black traffic arm told you to. You notice the ticket says “Do not bend or fold,” so you do both immediately. Fuck your rules, robot.
You take the time to circle each of the six levels of the town hall parking garage in order to purposefully double park. Unable to find two spots adjacent to each other, you park correctly in a single vacant slot, but you do it really close to the yellow line so that the person parked on your car’s passenger side will have to squeeze in or enter their car from their own passenger side. Take that, conformity.
You see a sign on the courthouse lawn that advises in a condescending, authoritarian tone that you should not step on the grass. You walk
Inside the courtroom, the judge asks for your plea. You plead guilty and beg forgiveness.
The judge says you don’t need to be forgiven for not picking up your dog’s poop, just don’t do it again. You pay your ten dollar fine on the way out and ask for your receipt from the nice lady behind the cashier’s counter because you’ll be god damned if you’re not going to litter right on the fucking courthouse steps.
Smash the state, motherfucker.