After overcoming many trials and tribulations of transportation of Italian foods to your loved ones, your family and friends have gifted you a name befitting your many culinary delivery accomplishments: you are the ‘Za Bra.
As the ‘Za Bra, obviously, you are bestowed with several powers, but also an impressive array of responsibilities and significant flaws. For example, you can resurrect any of your party members once a day, but as a result they will become beholden to another party – the pizza party of a six-year-old child.
Yes, several times an afternoon, you’ll be required to serve pizza and soda to a large group of horrible children. Their cries and caws will do little to garner your sympathy, but you must do what you can to save your fallen comrade, Bram the Ranger.
As you pour high fructose corn syrup water into the cups of the thirsty, post-millennial brats, a singular thought crawls through your mind: I can beat the high score on Ski-Ball after my shift.
Those snot-nosed kids don’t have a chance.