Pleasantly drunk, you decide it's time to leave the bar and be illegally drunk outside. You don't see the two-inch change in elevation as you pass through the threshold out the front door.
You see the rapidly approaching pavement in front of you. You've never been much of a fighter, so instead of throwing your hands in front of you to break the cement's attack, you bury your face in the inside of your elbows. Hopefully your shamefully cowardly display will make your assailant take pity on you and leave you be.
Before you are struck by the flat-faced rock golem, you feel pressure on your chest and your descent is halted suddenly.
Opening your eyes, you're surprised to see a small man, under you, lying on his back. The man's bare feet are pressed into your chest.
"Wha-" is all you manage before turning your head to the side and letting forth a stream of foamy beer-vomit.
The man uses his legs to push you back up to a standing position.
"No need to thank me, citizen!" he proclaims enthusiastically. "The Fall Prevention Patrol is always happy to help! I'm Footfall, the newest member of the crew! I use my bare feet of JUSTICE to KICK harmful falls in the TEETH!"
You nod silently.
"Footfall AWAY!" he shouts before turning and running down the sidewalk, presumably to do weird shit somewhere else. His bare soles create loud pats on the pavement as he goes.
Time to switch back to whiskey.