No smoking over the tables: while it may be a useful too for obscuring your opponent's shots, it can also obscure your own. Make the smart tactical choice.
No food or drinks put on the tables: grabbing a mid-shot snack for an extra burst of energy may be tempting, but remember that many a pool player has had to forfeit due to aggressive stomach cramps brought on by overeating.
No jump shots of any kind: while the extra momentum gained from jumping into the air prior to a shot cannot be denied, the league has decided to ban this practice for fear it will inevitability lead to some form of dunking.
No sitting on the pool tables: tables are for glasses, not asses. Except this one. This one isn't for glasses either. (See Rule #2)
Please return all equipment after use: GIMME BACK MY STUUUUUFF!
Respect those around you: yes, even that asshole. We know, we hate him, too. Rules are rules, man.