Come on down to Bill's Snowcones on Jones Rd., where we take pride in making the highest quality overpriced crushed frozen water with sugar in it and definitely not being a front for a drug dealing business.
Our prices on ludicrously expensive sweetened ice chunks can't be beat, because they're the same prices literally every other place that sells snowcones has.
"Seriously, what's the fucking deal with that?" you might ask. "Is there some sort of snowcone cartel? Are these guys in the cahoots with each other?"
Well, we're not telling, and maybe you should stop asking stupid questions to dangerous people!
Bill's snowcones uses the highest quality natural ingredients. Real mint in our mint, real cherry in our cherry, real blood in our tiger blood. Think about our ingredients before you decide to start flapping your mouth about things you don't know shit about.
Bill's Snowcones - "We'll Kill You Dead"