CAUTION
Passengers only. All drivers will be shot on sight.
Hold Handrail? More like holding hands rail. What're gonna do next, try to shove your tongue in the axles? Nasty perv.
Attend children. We got some -er- dudes around here lately that, if you'll pardon the euphemism, enjoy kidnapping and murdering children. Well, we only assume they're around here because all the kids have gone missing from this mall and the guys haven't been caught yet. Could be reaching there.
Avoid sides. We've electrified the sides of the escalator. For safety reasons. It's like operation but more painful. Just...just don't touch it, man.
Make sure to be conjoined with a smaller human by a mechanical ball joint at all times.
Absolutely no roller snakes. We're serious. Look, we're so serious we circled it in red. We've been down that road and we're pretty sure there's still a reticulated python living under the escalator. Oh shit. I think we just solved the mystery of the missing kids.
New rule: Escalator out of order.