521 - Sales of Art to Minors


"Sign says it ain't against the law, Mrs. Edwards," Officer Mason explains calmly to the increasingly agitated middle-aged woman in the brown velour tracksuit.

Mrs. Edwards called the police after she - as she put it - "caught" you selling art to kids...in the art gallery gift shop.

"Officer," Mrs. Edward condescends, "I think we both know that a sign posted in a den of decadence such as this does not a law make."

"Either way, I'm not aware of any law makes it an arrestable offense to sell art," Officer Mason counters.

"It damn well should be. Anyway, officer, this," she chides, holding up a small statuette, "isn't art. It's pornography."
Officer Mason examines the plastic figurine. "No, ma'am, I believe that's the Venus de Milo."

"Are you serious? Look at it!"

"Quite serious, ma'am. See, you can tell because the arms are miss-"

"It's obscene!" screamsMrs. Edwards.

"No, ma'am, I believe in this particular work the matter is settled. They got one of them...what do you call 'em...consensuses? That's art."

Mrs. Edwards huffs and walks out without saying so much as goodbye.

Officer Mason comes to you at the cash wrap. "Call if you got any more problems, miss," he says, tipping his hat. "But, just to be sure, you probably ought not sell n'more of them Playboys here. I can only do so much to ward off the censors."