773 Remoulade AvenueIota, Louisiana 70543
February 2, 2018
Party Official in charge of Soup Morale
Nissin Foods
2001 W. Rosencrans Ave
Gardena, CA 90249
Dear Soup Nazi,
As you are no doubt stuck in the same time loop as I am, this letter should come as little surprise to you. If indeed you deign to read my message for the 23,561st time by my calculation (and I hope you do, it's your god damn job) you will know it is in reference to your "Soup Booster" portion of your instant noodles product.
My time in this endless temporal vortex has provided me ample opportunity to test, scientifically, my original statement on your stew enhancement compound - namely that it's garbage. The data, it seems, agrees with me.
The numbers don't lie, sir. Countless controlled test have led to the same result: whenever I am exposed to Soup Booster, I want to vomit. This nausea caused by your product has been scientifically measured. 100% of me want to die when I eat this refuse.
My study has been peer reviewed and replicated, and the scientific community recommends you get your shit together. You can't argue with scientific progress, sir, and the future is a world where soup doesn't taste like my cat's asshole.
Sincerely,
Armond Fontenot