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7 - Crugslust

January 7, 2016 Stephen Hardy

FOR SALE: Lightly-used (1) utility cart. Extremely environmentally conscious engine emits no fumes at all. (2) If you want to ride (3) in style (4) this is the vehicle (5) for you. This great fixer-upper opportunity is perfect for father-son bonding projects (6) or general family fun (7)! Call (8) or come by (9) for pricing!

 

(1) How I managed to put 137,000 miles on a golf cart is beyond me. Not sure where that wheel went, but I'm throwing in a tire from an '93 Camry. You should be able to trade that in for what you need. Pretty sure that's how tire shops work.

(2) Engines that don't run can't pollute. You'll probably get some sort of tax break or whatever. Checkmate, Obama.

(3) What's your definition of "riding"? Mine is sitting in the front yard.

(4) Style is subjective, idiot.

(5) It's like a vehicle for spiritual awakening. Meditation or some crystal crap like that.

(6) Or father-son "I'm never talking to you again after this bullshit you just put me through" projects.

(7) I haven't spoken to a single member of my family in three years.

(8) I don't have a phone.

(9) Bring cash. Come alone. No cops, damn it.

← 8 - Origin Story6 - Time Out for Sally →
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