90 - Dig It


 “Start digging,” Spencer said as he dropped a shovel in front of Tyrone.

Tyrone looked Spencer directly in the eyes, shifted his gaze to the Ruger revolver in Spencer’s right hand, then to the shovel. Tyrone had seen this movie before.

“Uh…no,” Tyrone said matter-of-factly, shaking his head.

A puzzled look came over Spencer’s face. His mouth opened slightly, but for a moment he was completely at a loss for words. “What?” was all he could manage.

“I’m not going to dig anything,” Tyrone replied, his expression completely flat.

“Start digging or I’m going to shoot you, motherfucker!”

“See, that right there is the heart of this very issue, Spence. If I don’t start digging, I get shot, but if I dig the hole, I get shot and put in the hole I just dug. There’s no incentive for me to dig, Spence. You’re not making it very appealing to me.”

“You get to live another hour if you dig.”

“Well, now we’re assuming that one more hour of being alive is actually worth it, but let’s talk about quality of life. I’ll be spending this hour doing strenuous manual labor. Now, far be it for me to shy away from a little bit of cardio, but if I’ll no longer reap the benefits of increased cardiovascular function and better overall health-“

“Man, shut the fuck up, Tyrone. This is why the boss wants you dead. You talk too fucking much, man.”

“Either way, I’m not digging that hole, Spence.”

Spencer gave a long sigh and rolled his eyes. “What I gotta do?”

“That’s just poor salesmanship, Spence. You’re acting like you’re not happy to be here.”

“I’m not, Tyrone. You’re making killing you really difficult.”

“My most sincere apologies, friend, but if you don’t seem happy to be here, I’m certainly not going to want to be here nor will I want to listen to anything you have to say. This is your job, Spence. You’ve got to act like you enjoy your job. Try this: How can I get you into a six-foot hole in the middle of the desert today?”

Spencer fired a single shot from the Ruger and the back of Tyrone’s head was blown away from the rest of his skull. Tyrone collapsed lifelessly into the dirt.

“By myself, apparently.”