As you yank the alien data probe free from your body, you can’t help but wonder why the aliens would choose such a conspicuous place on the human body to have a six-inch wire protruding. You decide it must be commonplace on their home planet to have foreign objects dangling from their butts.
You wonder, only momentarily, why they would have anything external at all, but you soon realize clear transmission from inside the human colon must be a tricky endeavor.
You consider leaving a note to help them out- in the interest of science and all. You quickly push the thought out of your mind; you’d hate to help them improve their methods and use them on you. Your butt can only take so much.