"You see," your child's father explains, "you give 'em the tiger pacifier and you've taken the first step trainin' 'em to be world-class wild animal wrestlers. Takes the fear outta 'em."
"I'm almost certain that's not how that works, Skeeter," you reply skeptically.
"Oh yeah?" Skeeter retorts defensively, "Well, how many world champion cat wrestlers you trained, Eryka?"
"None, Skeeter," you answer. "Same as you."
"I keep telling you little Lily just ain't filled out yet!" Skeeter screams angrily. "As soon as she does, and they invent the sport of cat wrestling, she'll be the god damned champ! Just you wait!"