105 - Longer Than Four Hours


You’ve finally convinced your doctor to prescribe you Viagra. By “convinced” you mean you simply worked up the courage to ask him and he wrote you the scrip without so much as asking you why you wanted it. The man is so deep in Pfizer’s pockets you’re surprised the gumball machine in the waiting room doesn’t dispense Zithromax.

You get the prescription filled at the pharmacy on the way home. As you walk out, you call your girlfriend and tell her to meet you at your place in an hour. “It’s gonna be a wild night,” you tell her. Wanting to be ready to go when she gets there, you decide to get dosed now.

The bottle recommends one pill, but you’re feeling adventurous. You pop three blues and slam them back with the red bull you bought in the pharmacy.

You walk three blocks to the subway station. As you descend the stairs, your penis begins to tingle. Feels kind of nice, you think to yourself. As you walk down the hall to the terminal several passing by shoot disgusted looks in your general direction. A young girl smiles at you, when you nod to acknowledge her she raises her hand to her face to stifle a giggle. Weird.

All becomes clear when you reach the turnstile. While trying to rush through sideways to catch the train (the turnstiles were always a bit narrow for your generous hips), you feel a glancing pain in your crotch as the glans of your penis smacks the edge of the chute.

Confused, you look down to see a monstrous erection pointing directly ahead. Your cheeks feel warm as they flush with a bright red color. You turn toward the wall and attempt “the tuck,” but your comfy sweat pants will have none of it. You wear them for the freedom they impart to your junk, and they’ll be damned if they’re made to play dick jailer today.

Mortified, you shuffle, head down, onto the train as discreetly as your throbbing manhood will allow. Not a single passenger nearby doesn’t notice. An old man shakes his head at you disapprovingly. He didn’t fight in the war for this. A pregnant woman sitting in front of you takes a single look at your unrestrained Johnson and turns her lip up as if she smells a wet fart. A young man steps in front of her, feeling some misguided need to protect her.

You accidentally make eye contact with him, and the strangest thing happens. You see a small spark of fear creep into his eyes, and he recoils slightly before taking a step back.

Emboldened, you look into the disapproving eyes of the old man. He, too, withdraws a step. You spin in a slow circle, staring into the eyes of everyone in your immediate area. One bye one, they all retreat from you. You’ve got a two-foot buffer zone between you and everyone else on the train, which you’re sure is some kind of record.

Your stop comes up and you exit the train. There’s no need to push and shove like usual – everyone who was on board to witness the spectacle of your penis power gives you a wide berth.

For a moment you consider staring at everyone on the walk to your apartment. No, you tell yourself, I’ve done too much already. Yes, you must use your power for good.

Your girlfriend calls and cancels on you at the last minute. You die an agonizing death from priapism.