252 - Alternative Nutrition


You've resolved to lose a few pounds. To that end, you've purchased new gym clothes, running shoes, and twelve cases of weight loss shakes.

The copy on the side of the carton promises a delicious and satisfying low-calorie meal replacement packed with savory nutrition. Looks like losing weight is going to be easy!

"Here's to a new you," you toast to your image in the hallway mirror as you raise the carton to your lips. The half-thick white liquid that pours into your mouth could be described by a multitude of colorful terms; conspicuous absent from the list of adjectives you quickly compile in your mind are "delicious" and "satisfying." Inconspicuously present are "vile," "nauseating," "shitty," "consistent with the taste and texture of warm baby vomit," and "unsatisfying."

You spit the disgusting slip into the floor and throw the carton against the wall. This injustice will not go unpunished. You are a letter-writer.