You stand on the corner of Highland and Chimes waiting for the little white guy in the box across the street to show up and tell that orange hand to go fuck himself. While you're stopped, you notice you left the house without tying either of your shoes. You reach down and assemble the laces.
As you rise, you glance to your right and your eyes happen upon a flyer advertising a move-in special at a nearby apartment complex.
$0 Total Move-In
-the flyer declares. You can't help but notice that's almost nothing. Your interest piqued, you continue to scab down the handbill.
FREE RENT
What the fuck? What the fuck! That's like not having to pay rent! How can they afford this? Why are they advertising it? They've already lost money by printing the handbill; they won't even be able to break even. What business school did these people go to? Idiots.
The little white guy pops up on the screen across the street. You laugh at the stupidity of these moron property managers as you step into the he street. Your shoes laces, which you tied together just moments prior instead of properly lacing your sneakers, go taut and you fall to the ground.
You lose only one tooth.