We have your back to school cash.
We took it while you were sleeping. Really it's your fault for just leaving it on the nightstand in a neat little stack. Honestly, what were you thinking? Banks are a thing.
Anyway, the money is in our possession. Now your little Johnny will have to be the only kid in school without a sick new Spider-man backpack or dope colored pencils or a sit-and-spin or whatever kids are into these days. That's on you.
Don't even try to get your back to school cash back from us. We already used it to buy this sign to taunt you. That's right - we didn't even need the money, we just wanted to fuck with you. Consider yourself fucked with.
Just remember: years from now, when tiny Pablo is a meth addict who can't spell or find the inverse of an angle this could all have been prevented by a little more care.