Stepping out onto the porch, you find a penny, heads-motherfricking-up. You pick that little sucker up and you just know you are on your way to have a day fullof luck. Heck yeah.
You pull out of your driveway and drive down your street. A car pulls out of a driveway in front of you and you’re unable to stop before you gently smash into it. To your surprise, the driver of the other car doesn’t get out and check if you’re okay, they just speed away. Wow, you don’t even have to file a police report; you’ll be on time for work! Thanks penny!
Well, your car broke down halfway due to the damage and you had to ride to work with the tow truck, oh well. Sometimes these things happen. You walk into work half an hour late and your boss tells you don’t even bother starting work, just clean out your desk and go home. Free day off! Penny, you rule.
Your box of work stuff is pretty heavy. You don’t realize how heavy until you trip over an uneven spot in the pavement on the way down the stairs from the office, lose your balance, and tumble forward down the stairs. Everything goes black.
You wake up in the hospital with casts on your right leg and both arms. A doctor stands over you. He tells you that you broke your right leg and both arms in the fall, and you’re probably going to need some reconstructive facial surgery.
He leaves the room. You look up at the TV. COPS is on. Frick yeah, COPS is hilarious. You’re the best, penny.